Coming into the world.... who will I be?
I specialise in working with teenagers and young people between 13-24. From our teens to our early twenties we are on the cusp of fulfilling our dreams and ambitions and it can be a daunting time. Leaving home, doing exams, making choices that may impact the rest of our lives. I see people who are struggling with these choices as well as overwhelming emotions and all the aspects of becoming an adult. At such a vital time it is important to develop coping skills and self awareness that will last a lifetime.
I specialise in helping people in all stages of addiction, from the contemplation stage 'am I?... I am not?' to late stage addiction. I treat all addictions; drugs, alcohol, love, sex, porn, obsessive compulsive behaviour, food, gambling, power anything that we can become addicted to-as it is all the same problem. Addictions are developed as a coping strategy for life. Over time they get increasingly worse until the addiction becomes the problem itself. Quite simply we need to learn new coping mechanisms while also addressing the cause and subsequent impact the addictions may have had. In short we deal with the whole picture in order to help you move on through life without your addiction.
In psychotherapy the body can be a tool for healing. Being aware of the body brings us into a deeper relationship with our feelings and experience. The body can hold on to our life's experience so bringing our attention to our bodies can enable release as well as increasing self awareness and self mastery. Body intelligence is so important in building a strong sense of self, resilience and a sense of peace within.
Taking attention to the body in therapy and in life means we can follow the path of the body to uncover parts of ourselves and integrate more fully. Working specifically with these imbalances can unblock and help you move through issues both emotionally and physically.
It is essential to grow these connections for individuation to occur. If we fail to acknowledge aspects of being human arguably we cannot be whole. By releasing unconscious and repressed parts we enable the flow of energy through the whole system.
Feeling our feelings
I am passionate that we are all strong enough to feel our feelings in their entirety, no matter what they are. Perhaps we are not taught this. Perhaps we are taught to repress our feelings, especially our pain. Sayings such as 'stiff upper lip', 'must not grumble' 'grin and bear it' are all about repressing feelings, as though the common belief is that feelings will go just go away.They don't. The way we behave is a result of our feelings, the more repressed, the less control we have over the way we end up behaving. One does not gain mastery over anything in life by pretending it does not exist. Feelings creep up on you whatever way they can.There are many, many ways that your ignored feelings will begin to make themselves heard. Often this is when people seek therapy - when old systems of coping start to break down. The good news is that feelings contain seeds for growth, in our darkest hours we find the light that will show us the way. The light may be brighter and more beautiful then anything you have ever seen before. We can go through our deepest despair and come out of the other side, renewed and refreshed. We will not die from our feelings we may just learn a new way of being. Here is a poem by Rumi called The Guest House which explains more of what I mean:
This human being is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.